“Isn’t it rich? Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground, you in mid-air…
Where are the clowns?”
I have a new appreciation for the song “Send in the Clowns” – as sung by Judy Collins, Bernadette Peters, Barbra Streisand, and Frank Sinatra among others. Ben Carson is a clown. Is he a brilliant, successful, highly regarded neurosurgeon? Yes, he is. Is he a viable candidate for the highest office in the land? No, he isn’t. The very concept of Carson as the President of the United States is as legitimate as me being named the head coach of the Georgia Bulldogs football team. It’s not going to happen. I’m not the least bit influenced by the fact that Carson is gaining on frontrunner Donald Trump in the 2016 Republican field of candidates. Carson is a clown among clowns in that none of them are serious. It’s ironic that Carson is a doctor because politically, I am of the not-so-humble opinion that he’s thoroughly toxic. If I had to assign a term to Carson, it would be carcinogen (carson-ogen). A carcinogen is a substance, radionuclide, or radiation directly involved in causing cancer after prolonged exposure. That’s what Carson is – a cancerous agent upon the body politic of America.
Perhaps you heard the nonsensical babble he espoused last week about the prospect of a Muslim American president. Last Sunday on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” Carson dropped this headscratcher, “I would not advocate that we put a Muslim in charge of this nation. I absolutely would not agree with that.” He went on to tell host Chuck Todd that he (Carson) didn’t believe Islam is consistent with the Constitution. Clearly, the good doctor hasn’t spent much time getting familiar with what the U.S. Constitution actually says about faith as it relates to presidential candidates. Strike one. Carson said during the first 2016 Republican presidential debate in August that racism isn’t a problem in postmodern America. How interesting that a couple of weeks after making that comment, Carson appeared live on the nationally syndicated “Tom Joyner Morning Show” and waxed poetic about how black lives actually do matter. Carson told a radio audience of millions that he’s deeply concerned about unarmed black men being killed by police officers, and how he wants to lead in that dialogue. Dr. Carson, I thought you said racism wasn’t an issue in this country. Strike two. Immediately following this year’s State of the Union address, Carson called President Obama a psychopath. Here was his bootleg, ricochet logic: “Like most psychopaths… that’s why they’re successful. That’s the way they look. They all look great. He’s trying to sell what he thinks is not true! He’s sitting there saying, ‘These Americans are so stupid I can tell them anything.’” The last time I checked, Carson is a neurosurgeon – not a psychiatrist or a psychoanalyst. Strike three. The doctor is out. Send in the next clown, por favor.
Perfect segue! That would be Donald Trump. The Donald is clown emeritus. Is he a world-famous, successful, billionaire real estate magnate? Yes, he is. Is he a reasonable candidate to be the leader of the free world? Absolutely not. Spoiler alert. Donald Trump – the man who has managed to alienate the Hispanic voting bloc on this planet – really doesn’t want to be president. Isn’t that patently obvious to you by now? As money-obsessed as he is, do you really think he’s willing to take on a job which would demand his attention 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for a salary of $400,000 a year? Come on, man. Would you trust our nuclear launch codes to Donald Trump? I certainly wouldn’t. If you knew with certainty that you’ll be never be elected president, you would be free to say anything you wanted without fear of consequences, too. That’s precisely why Trump has returned to his birther roots lately. Trump has dusted off his well-documented position from the president’s first term in office that  Obama never actually attended Harvard University,  that Obama isn’t really an American citizen – which, of course, would mean  Obama is an illegitimate American president. That’s 3 strikes for him right there. If Trump actually believes that he will win a majority of votes from black Americans next year using that argument, he’s no longer on the fringe – he is the fringe. Bedtime for Bozo the clown.
“Don’t you love farce? My fault, I fear.
I thought that you’d want what I want, sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns, send in the clowns.
Don’t bother, they’re here.”
Coulrophobia is an irrational fear of clowns. Coulrophobia symptoms include sweating, nausea, feelings of dread, accelerated heartbeat, crying or screaming, and anger at being in the presence of a clown. Are you sweating yet?
The 2016 GOP field is a hot mess. It’s a circus. Pass the peanuts, please. Thanks.
Carson and Trump aren’t serious candidates. They’re agent provocateurs. They’re wealthy, so-called politicians pretending to care about all Americans. But like all clowns, their masks will come off sooner or later. Don’t take my word for it. Just ask Scott Walker.