It Ain’t Over Til It’s Over

Thomas Jefferson is a national hero: Worshipped as a demigod and romantically idolized as the prototypical statesman and Renaissance man, barely anyone mentions Tommy was an adulterer, vicious racist, and rapist as well

[Post Election: Commentary On Race Matters]

Barack Obama’s election to the most powerful job in the world has many people wondering if racism is on its death bed. Here’s a short, but sure list of evidence to the contrary:

Harry’s Top 10 Examples that Racism Still Exists:

10. Fighting is only legal in hockey: The only major team sport where fighting is legal is one that is dominated by white guys. Basketball players can’t talk trash to each other. Football players can’t celebrate as a team in the end zone. But hockey players get a timeout to scuff it out in the middle of the rink without interference.

9. Columbus Day is a holiday: The genocidal maniac who initiated the extermination of the Native Americans has a holiday for a feat he never accomplished.

8. The Michelin Man is made of white tires: There’s no such thing as a white tire, yet the mascot for a tire company, who is visibly made of tires, is snow white. Presumably, a black tire-character wouldn’t be as cute and friendly-looking.

7. Africa is way too small on the map: Africa is larger than North America, which includes Greenland, Alaska, the U.S., Canada, Mexico, Central America, and the Caribbean. The United States could fit in the Sahara Desert and Western Europe could fit in the Congo Region. You’d never ever guess so looking at a map. Of course, in contrast, Europe appears larger than the measly 6% of the Earth it accounts for.

6. Thomas Jefferson is a national hero: Worshipped as a demigod and romantically idolized as the prototypical statesman and Renaissance man, barely anyone mentions Tommy was an adulterer, vicious racist, and rapist as well.

5. The term “holocaust” generally refers to the Jews in WWII, not to slavery: More of us died during the Middle Passage alone than Jews did during the Nazi torment. Our ordeal lasted four full centuries longer. They lost their lives and property, while we lost our names, identities, cultures, and family affiliations in addition to our lives. For some reason though, the ‘h-word’ applies exclusively to their plight.

4. The word “fair,” meaning “pale” or “light in complexion,” is synonymous with beautiful: ‘Nuff said.

3. There are still team names, logos, and sports paraphernalia that invoke Native Americans: Talk about spitting on someone’s grave: virtually wipe the Native Americans off the planet, then gleefully mock them at sporting events.

2. Black chics are considered hoes, but white chics bone all the dudes: “Girls Gone Wild,” spring break, Mardi Gras, “gonzo” porn flicks, internet porn, webcam shows, “hookin’ up,” nudist colonies, fabled group-trysts with college athletic teams, and every other public exhibition of White female lasciviousness, yet Black women are the ones perpetually scolded for being irresponsibly promiscuous.

And the number one, perhaps least obvious, example racism exists is…

(Drum roll please!)

1. Pennies are the only brown coins: The coin worth almost nothing, the kind you find on the ground or in the gutter, the kind people pelt away, is brown while all the others are silver, even though they share relatively the same metal composition.